In this video, Shiloh Lundahl, LCSW shares that, as parents (or caregivers), it’s counterproductive to shield children from all challenges and difficulties. While the impulse to protect kids from pain, failure, or disappointment is natural, doing so excessively can stunt their resilience, emotional growth, and ability to cope with real-world hardships.

Key points made:

Value of struggle and difficulty
Shiloh emphasizes that life inevitably includes obstacles. When children are given everything too easily, they miss the opportunity to learn perseverance, problem-solving, and grit. Encountering manageable challenges strengthens their self-confidence and ability to bounce back from setbacks.
Overprotection has costs
If parents constantly intervene to “fix things” for their children—whether by doing their tasks, smoothing over social conflicts, or removing all discomfort—kids may never learn key life skills. They may become dependent, risk-averse, or ill-equipped to face failure or adversity.
Balance is essential
The message is not that one should be harsh or unloving, but rather that parenting should balance being supportive and having your kids do hard things – even if they don’t like it. Parents should allow children to try, fail, and recover—with guidance and support when necessary. The idea is to scaffold challenges, not obliterate them.
Long-term benefits
This video teaches that children who grow up facing calibrated challenges are more likely to be resilient, self-reliant, resourceful, and emotionally mature. They develop internal confidence from knowing they can handle harder things, rather than always relying on external rescue.
Practical suggestions
Remember to not make your kid’s life too easy and don’t make it too difficult. Find that sweet spot of growth and guide your kid into it.

Shiloh Lundahl, LCSW, is a licensed child and family therapist in Arizona. He has been on TV, radio, and has had parenting articles published in parenting magazines. He has a private practice in Mesa, Arizona and also teaches parenting classes. Click here to go to his webpage.