Category: Parents

How parents can destroy the effectiveness of consequences?

February 9, 2012

Why is it that two set of parents can apply the same consequence but yet get very different results? Is it because the child that learns from the consequence is good-natured while the other child who becomes resentful is just a bad egg? Does it all depend on the temperament of the child or does the way the parents apply the consequences have any influence over their effectiveness? I am reminded of mother whose first reaction when her child did

Teachable moments

February 9, 2012

A common hope as parents is that our kids will do well in high school, go to college, and get an education so that they can compete in the world in which they live. Although this hope is logical, sometimes we are not as logical when it comes to passing this hope on to our kids. Love and logic teaches that one of the most powerful teaching techniques for parents to use is modeling. We model the behaviors that we

When Kids Make “Bad” Friends

February 9, 2012

One of the major worries parents have as their kids get older is whether or not their kids will make good friends. From their own experience, parents recognize that friends can have such a powerful influence over their kids – for good or for bad. Because of that influence, some parents enter into the trap of trying to control who their kids can have as friends. Once parents enter into a control battle over who they will allow their kids

Why is there chocolate on this doughnut?

February 9, 2012

Do your kids ever ask questions that puzzle you? Not because you don’t know the answer, but because you are not sure of the answer to give them. I know of a father whose girl asked such a question. They went out one Saturday morning for doughnuts and his little girl chose the one with chocolate frosting and colored sprinkles. As she ate the doughnut she asked, “Daddy, why does this doughnut have chocolate on it?” This father was unsure

The Title “Mother” is not Followed by the Subtitle “Servant”

February 9, 2012

Mothers, do you sometimes feel like you have the Burger King logo around your neck because your kids expect you to make it their way; right away? Do you ever feel more like a cab driver and a short order cook then the queen of the castle? Is that the way it should be? So many kids nowadays grow up with the idea that they deserve the best their parents can afford (or not afford). This entitled attitude ends up

Overcoming Entitlement in Children

February 8, 2012

Picture your precious child in your arms for the first time. So sweet… So little… So innocent. “This child,” you think, “was meant to bring happiness into my life.” Now fast forward ten years. You have just spent an hour in the kitchen on a new recipe trying to include more nutritious foods into your family’s diet when the same child you gave birth to sits down at the dinner table, looks at the new food and says, “Gross, what

Using Scare Tactics to Discipline Kids: a lesson learned from the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland

February 8, 2012

As a six year old boy, I remember being so scared of the haunted mansion at Disneyland. The ride began as a group of people walked into a large room and listened to a narrator tell us what we were in for. As I remember, the narrator had a deep, spooky voice and he stated we were welcome to come in, but we would never get out. Then suddenly the lights would go out. Everyone would hear a scream and

Using the Technique “As Soon As…” to Set Limits with Kids

February 8, 2012

Do you ever feel discouraged when you ask your kids to do something and receive attitude or flat out non-compliance in return. It is easy for all of us to get discouraged, or even angry, when we spend a lot of time and effort trying to provide the necessities of life for our kids when we get responses like, “I don’t want to do it; you do it” Or, “I do it later.” Unfortunately for us, I’ll do it later

Why are choices so important for kids?

February 8, 2012

Have you ever seen a kid have a meltdown over something that seemed unimportant? For example, you start to help your toddler get dressed and you grab the Spiderman Shirt rather than the dinosaur shirt and he suddenly goes ballistic. Or maybe you order a hamburger rather than chicken nuggets and your child throws a conniption fit in the back seat. What could be so important about a dinosaur shirt and chicken nuggets that could cause our kids to fall

Small Change in Words – Big Change in Attitudes

February 7, 2012

It’s easy to fall into the trap of demanding and threatening as a parent – especially when you want your child to get something done quickly. “If you don’t clean your room right now, you can forget about playing on the IPOD for the rest of the day.” Or “If you don’t finish your chores in the next 30 minutes you’re not going to have any friends over today.” Or finally, “I am sick and tired of you leaving your