Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist. The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful. The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room. Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to the situation that occurred. After a while of following this pattern, kids stop liking being around their parents and the
Have you ever heard someone tell a new mother that if she keeps picking up her child when he is crying she is going to spoil him? Is it true? Is it possible that nurturing a child can go too far to the point that it becomes coddling? At what point can nurturing become coddling? To understand these questions, we must first understand what it is that children need. Do
In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’ Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.” They go on to explain, “Freeing oneself involves understanding that loving relationships give consequences their power. Releasing oneself means continuing
Shiloh Lundahl, LCSW, has worked with parents providing therapy and parent coaching in several cities throughout Arizona. Shiloh is an independent facilitator of the Love and Logic curriculum and has been trained in many other parenting programs as well. In order to make parent coaching more convenient to parents living outside the Phoenix Valley, Shiloh has started offering therapy through Skype. Parents in smaller cities in Southern Arizona such as Safford, Thatcher, Eager, Clifton, Willcox, Bisbee, Douglas, Sierra Vista, Benson, Vail, Green
I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone. “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades to slip, or being mean to a sibling, these parents whip out their one skill (the cell phone take away)
Though many families and individuals have already chosen to step up to the plate and take on the challenge of providing a nurturing and secure environment for children placed in the foster care system, the fact remains that child welfare agencies are consistently overwhelmed with thousands more children who have yet to find a place to call home. Whether you’ve considered becoming a foster parent but are still on the fence about it or have never given it a thought
Have you ever had your electricity shut off because you forgot to pay the power bill? As the payment date approached did you get a call from the power company reminding you about the due date and telling you what would happen if you didn’t pay the bill? Imagine the following phone conversation between Suzie from the power company and a customer – Mr. Jones: Suzie: Mr. Jones, I was looking at the calendar this morning and I saw that
Some kids are picky eaters. Unless it’s Mac ‘n’ Cheese, a dinner role, or plain cheese pizza, these kids can cry, whine, throw fits, or just simply refuse to eat the food on their plates. After a long day at work or taking care of children, the last thing a parent wants to do is to force their child to eat food that is good for them; not to mention the irritation a parent feels when a child refuses to
School can be very stressful for a parent and for a child. This is especially true if your child is having behavior problems or not doing their school work. It can be a vicious cycle: the child is having a hard time at school, the teacher expresses these concerns to the parent, the parent gets frustrated reacting in a punitive or harsh way and the child continues to do poorly. The first step in breaking the cycle is to take
Have you ever told a child that they did such a good job coloring their picture and then hear the child respond saying, “No I didn’t. I messed up on his nose. I don’t like it.” Why is it some kids argue when their parents try to praise them rather than beam with joy? Well, sometimes, kids can feel insecure about themselves or develop a belief that they are not good at something or even that they are not good