Posts Tagged: “Showing Empathy Toward Kids”

Emotional Flat Tire

Imagine you are running late to work and you are frantically rushing out the door. As you’re hustling down the freeway trying not to speed (at least trying not to noticeably speed), you suddenly feel the car start to vibrate followed by a low juddering sound. You recognize that dreadful sound and realize that you have a flat tire at the most inconvenient time. You now have a decision to make, you can either pull to the side of the

What is the difference between nurturing and coddling?

Have you ever heard someone tell a new mother that if she keeps picking up her child when he is crying she is going to spoil him?  Is it true?                     Is it possible that nurturing a child can go too far to the point that it becomes coddling?  At what point can nurturing become coddling? To understand these questions, we must first understand what it is that children need.  Do

Is That Consequence Logical?

I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone. “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades to slip, or being mean to a sibling, these parents whip out their one skill (the cell phone take away)

What We Can Learn About Parenting From The Power Company

Have you ever had your electricity shut off because you forgot to pay the power bill?  As the payment date approached did you get a call from the power company reminding you about the due date and telling you what would happen if you didn’t pay the bill?  Imagine the following phone conversation between Suzie from the power company and a customer – Mr. Jones: Suzie:  Mr. Jones, I was looking at the calendar this morning and I saw that

Shame Vs. Repair

Kids make lots of mistakes.  The fact is we as parents make plenty of mistakes as well.  As a therapist who works with children and families, I get to spend lots of time working with parents on their reactions to the mistakes their children make.  In doing so, I have found that some parents react with an abrupt intensity when their children make mistakes.  Unsurprisingly, many of these parents were reacted to in similar ways when they were kids and

How parents can help their kids achieve school success

The following is a clip was taken from an interview with Shiloh Lundahl, LCSW, for the show Joy in Our Town .  This show aired In August, 2012 on channel 21. How parents can help their kids achieve school success     Shiloh Lundahl, LCSW teaches parenting classes in Mesa, Arizona.  Please click here to learn more about the classes he teaches.

How to Stop Your Kids From Interrupting

“Mom…Mom…Mom…Mom…” Do you ever hear this coming from your kids while you are in the middle of a conversation with someone else?  Have you ever responded by turning and yelling, “WHAT!” and then felt just a little embarrassed (or maybe not) for yourself or for your kids’ rude behavior? Would you like a simple technique that will make you look the kind of parent who has it all put together?  The technique is called squeeze my fingers and it can

My 4-year-Old’s Addiction: When TV Becomes a Problem for Young Kids.

It’s 6:30am Friday morning.  My 4-year-old son comes wandering into my room and asks, “Dad, what day is it?”  I respond by saying, “It’s Friday.” “It’s Friday!” he exclaims with a burst of energy.  Then he asks, “Can I watch a woovie (movie)?” Because of the research indicating the negative effects that TV watching can have on the developing brain of young children, my wife and I have tried to limit the time spent viewing movies and television in our

Small Change in Words – Big Change in Attitudes

It’s easy to fall into the trap of demanding and threatening as a parent – especially when you want your child to get something done quickly.  “If you don’t clean your room right now, you can forget about playing on the IPOD for the rest of the day.”  Or “If you don’t finish your chores in the next 30 minutes you’re not going to have any friends over today.” Or finally, “I am sick and tired of you leaving your

How can I have more influence on my children?

Take a minute to think about someone who had a wonderful influence on you in your life.  As soon as you have that person in your mind think about how you would describe that person?  Would you use words like kind, patient, loving, or empathetic?  Could you say that person was caring or that he or she treated you with respect?  Would you say that it was easy or hard to learn from that person? Now think about someone who