Posts Tagged: “parenting”

5 Suggestions to help kids feel secure and truly happy

“I just want my kids to be happy” Seeking for your child to feel secure over being happy will help them more in the long run. I often hear parents say that they just want their kids to be happy.  Who can blame them?  I think that’s what every parent really wants for his or her kids.  However, if we as parents aim for our kids’ immediate happiness, we will often miss the mark on their overall happiness. Have you

Giving Kids the Opportunity to Succeed

One of the topics that often surface in the parenting classes that I teach is the parent’s fears of their kids failing in school.  This is especially true for parents of kids with ADD or ADHD, because of their child’s difficulty staying focused on a school task to completion. Parents want their kids to succeed.  So when their child starts to struggle with something such as schoolwork, the parent steps in to support their child by helping them with their

The Difference Between Helping and Enabling

When does “helping” a child become “enabling” a child? It is hard to know where that line is sometimes. As parents, we love our kids and are willing to make sacrifices for them, but can our sacrifices ever send the wrong message to our kids? The answer is yes! We can certainly send unhealthy and unrealistic messages to our kids leading them to believe that the world will do everything it can to make sure they are comfortable, and especially,

What We Can Learn From the Post Office About Parenting

Has this ever happened to you or someone you know? Child: “Mom we need to go to the store tonight! My project is due tomorrow and I need a poster board and some construction paper!” Parent: “How long have you known about this project?” Child: “They told us two weeks ago, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Parent: “You have known for two weeks and you just now tell me! I can’t take you tonight.

Conflict, Then Resolution

Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist.  The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful.  The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room.  Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to the situation that occurred. After a while of following this pattern, kids stop liking being around their parents and the

What is the difference between nurturing and coddling?

Have you ever heard someone tell a new mother that if she keeps picking up her child when he is crying she is going to spoil him?  Is it true?                     Is it possible that nurturing a child can go too far to the point that it becomes coddling?  At what point can nurturing become coddling? To understand these questions, we must first understand what it is that children need.  Do

Loving Relationships Give Consequences Their Power

In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’  Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.”  They go on to explain, “Freeing oneself involves understanding that loving relationships give consequences their power.  Releasing oneself means continuing

Is That Consequence Logical?

I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone. “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades to slip, or being mean to a sibling, these parents whip out their one skill (the cell phone take away)

What We Can Learn About Parenting From The Power Company

Have you ever had your electricity shut off because you forgot to pay the power bill?  As the payment date approached did you get a call from the power company reminding you about the due date and telling you what would happen if you didn’t pay the bill?  Imagine the following phone conversation between Suzie from the power company and a customer – Mr. Jones: Suzie:  Mr. Jones, I was looking at the calendar this morning and I saw that

Too High of a Wage at Too young of an Age

A mother recently shared that she was trying to encourage her four children (ages five to eleven) to read by offering to give them a dollar for each book they read.  It was working out great until the neighbor offered to pay them to pull his weeds.  Because this neighbor liked her boys and wanted to be generous, he paid them each $10 an hour to pull weeds. This experience may not have seemed harmful at first, however, now when