Posts Tagged: “parenting tip”

5 Suggestions to help kids feel secure and truly happy

“I just want my kids to be happy” Seeking for your child to feel secure over being happy will help them more in the long run. I often hear parents say that they just want their kids to be happy.  Who can blame them?  I think that’s what every parent really wants for his or her kids.  However, if we as parents aim for our kids’ immediate happiness, we will often miss the mark on their overall happiness. Have you

Emotional Flat Tire

Imagine you are running late to work and you are frantically rushing out the door. As you’re hustling down the freeway trying not to speed (at least trying not to noticeably speed), you suddenly feel the car start to vibrate followed by a low juddering sound. You recognize that dreadful sound and realize that you have a flat tire at the most inconvenient time. You now have a decision to make, you can either pull to the side of the

Being a Super-Powered Parent can be a Blessing and a Curse

As a therapist I often work with very smart and capable parents. The kind of parents that seem to have the answer to someone’s problem even before that person knows they have a problem. These superpowers have helped these parents become successful in many areas of their lives. They are often ultra responsible and their employers love them for it. So why do such capable parents bring their children in for counseling? I find that one of the reasons is

8 Ways to Break Through Teenage Walls

As a child and family therapist, I have met with many teenagers who have shut down. It looks like they have put up 2-foot thick concrete walls around themselves to keep their parents and other concerned adults at a distance. By the time parents contact me, months or even years of damage has already happened in the family and the interactions of shutting down and pushing away have become habits. Sometimes the parent and the child don’t even know or

Conflict, Then Resolution

Recently, there seems to be a pattern among the families that I have been working with as a therapist.  The pattern starts by the child acting rude and disrespectful.  The parent then gets offended and upset and eventually sends the child to their room.  Afterwards, nothing is really talked about or resolved between the parent and the child related to the situation that occurred. After a while of following this pattern, kids stop liking being around their parents and the

What is the difference between nurturing and coddling?

Have you ever heard someone tell a new mother that if she keeps picking up her child when he is crying she is going to spoil him?  Is it true?                     Is it possible that nurturing a child can go too far to the point that it becomes coddling?  At what point can nurturing become coddling? To understand these questions, we must first understand what it is that children need.  Do

Loving Relationships Give Consequences Their Power

In the updated Love and Logic Parenting Class – Parenting the Love and Logic Way, Jim and Charles Fay share the following observation, “Our heart breaks every time we see someone falling into the ‘consequence trap.’  Well-meaning parents become ensnared in this trap when they believe that the solution to all of their problems involves finding bigger or better consequences.”  They go on to explain, “Freeing oneself involves understanding that loving relationships give consequences their power.  Releasing oneself means continuing

Is That Consequence Logical?

I hear of parents whose knee-jerk reaction to almost anything that their child does wrong is to take away their child’s cell-phone. “It’s the only thing they care about”, parents will tell me. “It’s the only thing that makes them do the thing I ask them to do!” Whether the misbehavior is talking back, refusing to do chores, allowing grades to slip, or being mean to a sibling, these parents whip out their one skill (the cell phone take away)

What We Can Learn About Parenting From The Power Company

Have you ever had your electricity shut off because you forgot to pay the power bill?  As the payment date approached did you get a call from the power company reminding you about the due date and telling you what would happen if you didn’t pay the bill?  Imagine the following phone conversation between Suzie from the power company and a customer – Mr. Jones: Suzie:  Mr. Jones, I was looking at the calendar this morning and I saw that

How To Get Your Kids To Eat

Some kids are picky eaters.  Unless it’s Mac ‘n’ Cheese, a dinner role, or plain cheese pizza, these kids can cry, whine, throw fits, or just simply refuse to eat the food on their plates.  After a long day at work or taking care of children, the last thing a parent wants to do is to force their child to eat food that is good for them; not to mention the irritation a parent feels when a child refuses to