Posts Tagged: “apologizing”

8 Ways to Break Through Teenage Walls

As a child and family therapist, I have met with many teenagers who have shut down. It looks like they have put up 2-foot thick concrete walls around themselves to keep their parents and other concerned adults at a distance. By the time parents contact me, months or even years of damage has already happened in the family and the interactions of shutting down and pushing away have become habits. Sometimes the parent and the child don’t even know or

Shame Vs. Repair

Kids make lots of mistakes.  The fact is we as parents make plenty of mistakes as well.  As a therapist who works with children and families, I get to spend lots of time working with parents on their reactions to the mistakes their children make.  In doing so, I have found that some parents react with an abrupt intensity when their children make mistakes.  Unsurprisingly, many of these parents were reacted to in similar ways when they were kids and

Forced Apologies: Does forcing your kid to apologize work well in the long run?

Holidays are a great time for families and extended families to get together and strengthen their relationships with each other.  During the festivities parents may talk and laugh together while kids play and run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Occasionally, in the midst of a conversation, a parent or two will hear screaming accompanied by one or more children crying.  As loving parents often do, a parent may rush into the scene to find out what happened

great parents say I'm sorry

Great Parents Say I’m Sorry

Do you ever feel like you mess up as a parent? I know I do. Even though I have read plenty of parenting books and, in fact, teach parenting classes, sometimes I still mess up as a parent. Even so, is it nice to know that I don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise great kids; I just need to keep a couple of things in mind: 1. It is better to use parenting techniques poorly and show